1
00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:14,440
HE SIGHS

2
00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:27,520
Michael! Hello, Michael!
Jesus, don't do that!

3
00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:28,760
You cannot sleep.

4
00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:31,440
I'm stressed about tomorrow...
Today.

5
00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:33,280
Why are you even switched on?

6
00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:35,320
Sue leaves me on for home security.

7
00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:38,680
Ugh, she doesn't need to do
that any more, I'm here.

8
00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:42,240
You are...depressed.

9
00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:44,880
Would you like to talk?

10
00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:49,000
To you?
Talking improves mental health.

11
00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:54,600
Well...

12
00:00:56,040 --> 00:01:01,160
My marriage is over, my wife
is pregnant with another man,

13
00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:04,280
I've moved back in with my mum,
and every job I go for,

14
00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:07,520
they either want someone younger
and more qualified,

15
00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:08,960
or AI can do it for free.

16
00:01:08,960 --> 00:01:10,080
I mean...

17
00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:14,080
I mean, I feel completely...

18
00:01:16,080 --> 00:01:17,440
What's the word?

19
00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:20,120
Outmoded, defunct,

20
00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:23,520
useless, antiquated...
Yeah, OK. Just shut up.

21
00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:25,920
Music might help elevate your mood.

22
00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:27,600

for Cotton-Eye Joe

23
00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:29,400


24
00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:31,360

where did you go

25
00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:33,040

Cotton-Eye Joe?

26
00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:36,800
Are you feeling better?
MUSIC CONTINUES

27
00:01:40,520 --> 00:01:43,000
OK,
so who watched Strictly this week?

28
00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:44,280
ALL:  We did!

29
00:01:44,280 --> 00:01:47,680
Sh! Terrific, so you all know
the winning dance was the slow,

30
00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:49,200
the sensual...

31
00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:50,600
..rumba!

32
00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:51,920
Oh, no...

33
00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:54,960
Don't worry, we don't have to do
the intimate hold positions.

34
00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:57,520
Now, everyone, partner up
and let's have some fun!

35
00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:00,600
Oh, bloody hell!

36
00:02:02,640 --> 00:02:05,080
MUSIC STARTS
Why are we here, Linda?

37
00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:08,160
Because it is on, and it is free.
Oh...

38
00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:20,200
I suppose we should get divorced.

39
00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:22,160
Are you certain this baby
can't be yours?

40
00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:24,160
Like, 10,000% certain?

41
00:02:24,160 --> 00:02:26,280
The urologist said
I might as well have given them

42
00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:29,080
a sample of wood glue.
That's a bit rude.

43
00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:30,720
I think she wanted to do stand-up.

44
00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:36,600
When we first got back together,
Professor Chris

45
00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:39,720
and I had break-up
sex one last time.

46
00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:40,960
That was the last time we did it.

47
00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:42,800
I really did want to make
a go of it with you.

48
00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:45,720
Oh, my God! He's moved in!

49
00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:47,840
He had to. He's totally broke.

50
00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:50,160
Really?  Yeah,
Lola served him with divorce papers.

51
00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:52,520
She's taking everything.
Ah... Awesome.

52
00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:57,000
Well, I guess you finally got
what you wanted all along.

53
00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:59,600
I used to think it was
what I wanted.

54
00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:01,520
In the gym, he's a God.

55
00:03:01,520 --> 00:03:03,360
But outside of the gym...

56
00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:04,960
He's an idiot?  Yeah.

57
00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:06,000
Yeah.

58
00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:08,960
Ah, hey, Mike.

59
00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:16,200
Ha!

60
00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:17,680
You want some chicken, Mike?

61
00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:19,000
No, thank you.

62
00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:24,800
Sorry about all this.

63
00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:26,920
Getting my wife pregnant...

64
00:03:26,920 --> 00:03:28,440
Yeah.

65
00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:29,520
Not cool.

66
00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:32,160
MACHINE RATTLES LOUDLY

67
00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:36,400
Do you consume everything raw?

68
00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:40,720
Cooking it just kills all
the nutrients, my man.

69
00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:49,480
Huh! How are you holding up, Mike?

70
00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:51,840
You know...  Lola's already
back on the dating apps.

71
00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:53,040
Can you believe that?

72
00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:54,640
At least you're devastated,
you look terrible.

73
00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:55,760
I'm doing OK.

74
00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:58,320
Yeah, but you're not back
on the dating apps, though, are you?

75
00:03:58,320 --> 00:03:59,880
For God's sake!

76
00:03:59,880 --> 00:04:01,240
Yes. I am.

77
00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:02,960
What?  Yeah. All the apps.

78
00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:05,080
Having fun, getting tons of...

79
00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:07,720
..pusseh.  Yes!

80
00:04:07,720 --> 00:04:09,880
You enjoy yourself, brother.

81
00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:11,200
Bring it in.

82
00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:15,360
What is happening?
It's just the natural order, babe.

83
00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:17,080
We're males.

84
00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:18,400
The bull has horns

85
00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:22,360
and the lion's gotta roar...
GLUGS AND BELCHES

86
00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:26,320
Anyway, good to see you,
take care, Mike.

87
00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:29,680
Do I either of you have to use the
bathroom in the next...30 minutes?

88
00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:31,080
I'm good.

89
00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:33,880
Oh, God...

90
00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:38,760
Oh, um, post.

91
00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:42,520
It's mainly...Robot Linda stuff.

92
00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:45,320
Why don't you just give Linda back?
I am.

93
00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:49,040
Oh, my God, I'd love to have been
there when you told them.

94
00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:50,320
What did you say -

95
00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:53,520
"Hey, Mum, sorry I'm going to give
back your robot girlfriend.

96
00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:56,040
"You're gonna have to date
the air fryer instead!"

97
00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:59,200
RENEE LAUGHS
Maybe I should do stand-up.

98
00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:00,720
I haven't told Mum yet.

99
00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:03,560
I need to choose my moment,

100
00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:05,040
before they collect her...

101
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:07,880
..tomorrow.

102
00:05:09,280 --> 00:05:12,000
MUSIC PLAYS
Box step, slow.

103
00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:13,600
Quick, quick, slow.

104
00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:17,280
Slow, quick, quick, slow.

105
00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:19,800
Hi, Sue!

106
00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:21,000
Hi, Tom!

107
00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:26,640
Now, remember, people,
it's all in the hips! In the hips!

108
00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:30,440
Yes! Excellent, Linda!
LAUGHTER

109
00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:34,800
OK, great work, everyone,
but we are sadly out of time!

110
00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:36,040
Thank, Christ.

111
00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:39,720
Now, remember,
we do dance classes here every day.

112
00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:41,520
And don't forget to
put your names down,

113
00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:45,440
because tomorrow we're doing
street dance, bitches!

114
00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:46,960
LAUGHTER
Yes!

115
00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:49,560
Thank God you didn't
put my name down for that one...

116
00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:53,000
Oh, no!

117
00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:57,480
Why?  Street dance celebrates self
expression and resisting oppression.

118
00:05:57,480 --> 00:06:00,880
I mean, why all this
arranging stuff?

119
00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:03,520
It's too much.
Sue, you are correct.

120
00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:06,120
Attending dance will not
leave enough preparation time

121
00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:08,720
for your dinner party.
What dinner party?

122
00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:10,680
Bye, Sue, bye, Linda.

123
00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:12,320
Are you OK, Tom?

124
00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:15,640
No, I got carried away.

125
00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:17,440
I should have warmed up more.

126
00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:19,720
You have strained your adductor
muscles.

127
00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:22,360
I can administer sports massage
when we get home.

128
00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:24,040
Oh, nice one.

129
00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:30,040
Salting the meat overnight
tenderises it

130
00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:31,760
and concentrates flavour.

131
00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:35,440
I've never done it before
and it's always tasted fine.

132
00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:39,640
The cassoulet is an iconic French
dish that is a lot of preparation.

133
00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:43,320
If the French had spent more
time fighting the Nazis

134
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:48,040
than they do preparing cassoulet,
we might not have had World War II.

135
00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:49,560
That is incorrect.

136
00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:52,200
World War II started when Germany
invaded Poland.

137
00:06:52,200 --> 00:06:54,560
MOBILE VIBRATES

138
00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:56,240
Who's this? Is it Michael?

139
00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:57,720
Oh...

140
00:06:57,720 --> 00:06:59,160
No.

141
00:06:59,160 --> 00:07:02,880
Hello? Sue Bevan speaking.
Who is it, Sue?

142
00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:06,760
The bank. Yes? Oh, really?

143
00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:11,720
Well, good job you're running
security checks.

144
00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:13,720
Yes, yes, I'll give you my details.

145
00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:15,440
ALARM SOUNDS
Scammers detected!

146
00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:16,800
Scammers detected!

147
00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:19,360
Hang up, hang up!  Oh!

148
00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:21,840
My phone!

149
00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:25,080
I am designed to alert you to
frauds, scams, misleading deals.

150
00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:28,680
Hi, Mum.  Oh, Michael.
How did it go?

151
00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:31,560
Actually, not that bad.
Linda, make a pot of tea.

152
00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:36,080
Please.  Do you want me to ask the
fridge to please keep the food cold?

153
00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:38,240
Hey, dishwasher,
please wash the dishes.

154
00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:40,640
They're machines.
What are you doing to that chicken?

155
00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:43,120
It's French. It was Linda's idea,

156
00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:46,320
she's invited Guy and Tom
and Eileen and Phyllis.

157
00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:48,560
Who's Tim and Ben
and Eileen and Francis?

158
00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:51,520
They're my friends.
But you never have people over.

159
00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:54,200
Well, I'm hosting a dinner party.

160
00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:57,280
You're "hosting a dinner party"?!
Yes.

161
00:07:57,280 --> 00:07:59,880
Who do you think you are,
Downton Abbey?!

162
00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:05,520
Sue, I believe that Michael thinks
Downton Abbey is the character name.

163
00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:09,800
Yeah... Darling, Abbey
isn't short for Abigail.

164
00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:13,000
I'm Downton Abigail.
SUE AND LINDA LAUGH

165
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:16,480
Hello, I'm Westminster Abigail.
MIKE FORCED LAUGHTER

166
00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:19,960
Linda, yeah, guess what,
I'm sending you back.

167
00:08:23,240 --> 00:08:24,280
Ugh...

168
00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:27,920
Mum, come and sit down...

169
00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:40,440
I got Linda when I thought you
were going to be alone.

170
00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:41,960
But I'm home now.

171
00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:43,800
We don't need her any more.

172
00:08:45,680 --> 00:08:47,440
Linda does so many things.

173
00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:50,840
Yeah, I... I can do what Linda does.

174
00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:52,840
You've got your own life to lead.

175
00:08:52,840 --> 00:08:54,080
Not really.

176
00:08:56,240 --> 00:08:58,040
I know this sounds silly...

177
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:03,960
It does sound silly.
I can't keep up the repayments.

178
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:06,800
I guess I could go back
to drug trials...

179
00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:07,840
No!

180
00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:12,400
What will happen to Linda?

181
00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:17,120
She'll go to a new owner
that really needs her,

182
00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:19,320
someone who hasn't got their son
living at home

183
00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:22,080
that who can do all
this crap for free!

184
00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:26,400
When?  They can pick her up tomorrow.

185
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:28,400
Oh, so soon?

186
00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:32,360
It's just going to be
exactly how it was.

187
00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:35,200
It's going to be...you and me.

188
00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:39,800
I-I thought that's what you wanted.

189
00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:57,400
Sue, have you taken
your heart tablet?  Yep.

190
00:09:57,400 --> 00:09:59,720
You are low on reflux medication.

191
00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:01,880
Right, well, thanks for telling me.

192
00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:05,480
Michael has suggested switching me
off overnight, as he is home now.

193
00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:08,320
Oh... I suppose he's right.

194
00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:09,680
Goodnight, Sue.

195
00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:13,480
Goodnight, Linda.

196
00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:19,840
Linda...off.

197
00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:43,000
MOBILE CAMERA SNAPS

198
00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:47,960
The bloody menopause?

199
00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:52,720
Bollocks.
MOBILE JINGLE

200
00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:55,360
Linda, come down.

201
00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:56,960
They'll be here in a minute.

202
00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:58,560
Coming, Michael.

203
00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:10,640
Is Sue back yet?

204
00:11:10,640 --> 00:11:11,960
Nah.

205
00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:14,800
These are Sue's onward care
instructions.

206
00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:17,960
They outline diet,
exercise, medicine, and...

207
00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:19,640
I do know what I'm doing!

208
00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:21,880
I was fine before I got you.

209
00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:24,920
Why are you taking pictures
with books you have not read?  I...

210
00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:29,760
I signed up to a dating app last
night, everyone looks really hot,

211
00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:31,560
I just need a better picture...

212
00:11:31,560 --> 00:11:32,920
Would you like me to try?

213
00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:36,280
Yeah, sure.

214
00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:42,840
Hang on, hang on.

215
00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:44,720
Wait, whoa, hang on. Just...

216
00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:53,200
Stop pulling that face.
That's just my face.

217
00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:56,080
Stop smiling.

218
00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:01,880
Wow, that's really good.

219
00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:05,760
Could you make my jaw
a little squarer?

220
00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:08,880
A-A little more.

221
00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:11,640
A little more?

222
00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:17,400
Little more...  This does not look
like you any more.

223
00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:18,600
Everyone does it.

224
00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:21,080
No-one's as good looking as
their photo. It's a thing.

225
00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:23,320
Hey, could you write
a profile for me as well?

226
00:12:29,560 --> 00:12:32,280
Why not try something upbeat,
like...

227
00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:38,560
Yup.  .."I love good company,
a good book, and even better...

228
00:12:38,560 --> 00:12:40,200
Tits.  "..coffee."

229
00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:41,520
Coffee.

230
00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:46,880
Sue benefits from activities,
social gatherings

231
00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:49,040
and changes to her routine.
Yeah, I know.

232
00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:52,520
She will complain and resist,
this is rooted in depression.

233
00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:55,560
Mum doesn't have depression.
Sue is still grieving.

234
00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:57,080
I made this week very busy

235
00:12:57,080 --> 00:12:58,800
because it is her 50th wedding
anniversary today.

236
00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:01,240
DATING APP JINGLE
Hey, Linda, someone responded!

237
00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:04,800
What if she wants to meet up?!

238
00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:08,000
What shall we do? I'll just say
"whatever you wanna do", yeah?

239
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,280
No.

240
00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:13,400
Say you have an already existing
activity planned and invite her.

241
00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:14,880
Then if she declines...

242
00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:17,560
It looks like I've got a really
interesting life,

243
00:13:17,560 --> 00:13:19,040
instead of lying in bed all day!

244
00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:21,080
That is so smart!
CAR HORN TOOTS

245
00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:25,280
Damn, they're here.

246
00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:28,600
Just when I found a use for you.

247
00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:32,240
Where is Sue?

248
00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:42,120
Oh, Mum...
Is she still here? Oh, Linda...

249
00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:44,840
I... Um...
I got you a little goodbye present.

250
00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:48,480
OK, now you've completely
lost your mind.

251
00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:50,920
I know you'll be going
to a nice new home,

252
00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:54,840
and you'll forget all about us,
and me and everything, but...

253
00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:57,800
I just wanted to thank you

254
00:13:57,800 --> 00:14:00,440
um...for everything.

255
00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:03,800
And I've got...

256
00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:05,600
..that for you.

257
00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:10,480
I have never
been inside a frame before.

258
00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:13,600
SUE CHUCKLES
Linda! It's time.

259
00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:17,400
I have also left
a gift for you.  Oh...

260
00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:18,640
Goodbye, Sue.

261
00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:19,840
Goodbye.

262
00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:32,560
Yeah, well, happens a lot, you know.

263
00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:36,520
Repairs, finances change,
first thing to go is the robot.

264
00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:38,440
You...do know you're gonna get
a penalty fare

265
00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:39,720
for cancelling the contract?

266
00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:41,040
That's fine.  Yeah?

267
00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:46,400
OK, well, yeah, this all looks fine.
In you go.

268
00:14:57,680 --> 00:15:00,360
Michael, a job.

269
00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:03,640
Good job?

270
00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:07,120
Well, it's back-breaking labour
and I do have to work holidays,

271
00:15:07,120 --> 00:15:09,560
but at least the pay's shit.

272
00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:12,720
OK, I'm going to need you
to sign here, here and here.

273
00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:17,640
So what next? Linda gets
repurposed for a new family?

274
00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:20,720
No, it's getting too hard to get
spare parts for these old models.

275
00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:24,440
They're actually worth more
for their metals now.

276
00:15:24,440 --> 00:15:26,240
She's going to be destroyed?

277
00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:27,320
Yep.

278
00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:29,360
I mean, it was a good model
but they're obsolete now...

279
00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:31,440
You've missed a bit.
One more signature.

280
00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:38,640
That was the word.

281
00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:41,760
"Obsolete".

282
00:15:41,760 --> 00:15:42,920
Well, I er...

283
00:15:42,920 --> 00:15:46,640
I actually did my PhD in how
Chaucer used language of the body

284
00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:48,960
to critique 14th century
gender norms.

285
00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:53,840
OK. Well...better get these robots
to the scrapyard.

286
00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:54,960
Er, thanks.

287
00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:00,760
ENGINE STARTS

288
00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:06,520
Hello, I am Linda.

289
00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:08,680
My owner was Sue.

290
00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:12,280
We went camping
and we went to a rumba class

291
00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:14,760
and we went on a roller-coaster.

292
00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:16,960
ALL:  Ah!

293
00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:24,640
I don't think I'll do
that French recipe.

294
00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:27,240
Too much preparation.

295
00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:29,480
It is pretty stupid.

296
00:16:29,480 --> 00:16:31,120
We're not even French.

297
00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:35,240
Just do a roast, Mum,
your roast slaps!

298
00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:38,000
Thank you. I will do a roast.

299
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:41,240
You've done it the same,
every single time,

300
00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:43,600
for as long as I can remember.

301
00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:45,120
What's this?

302
00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:49,520
Hmm?  This.  Oh, that.
It's just something Linda left.

303
00:16:49,520 --> 00:16:53,160
MOBILE ALERT
I've got to walk you or something.

304
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:08,920
MOBILE ALERT

305
00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:13,120
Love, if you've got time,
could you pick up my reflux meds?

306
00:17:13,120 --> 00:17:15,320
I'd better start cooking.

307
00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:17,240
Sure... Hey, Mum, Mum, Mum...

308
00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:19,600
Guess what, I've got a date!

309
00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:21,640
Date?

310
00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:23,400
Don't you think that's a bit soon?

311
00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:26,280
Mum, it's just the natural
order of things.

312
00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:30,000
I'm no different from
a lion or a cow.

313
00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:34,960
A bull... A bull!

314
00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:38,880
I'm no different from a bull.

315
00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:43,880
I spy with my little eye,
something beginning with...

316
00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:45,520
L.

317
00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:49,040
ALL:  Lower Safety Locking
Hydraulic Lift Pin.

318
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:53,880
It is more fun
if you keep guessing...

319
00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:56,960
You're late.  Sorry... Traffic.

320
00:17:56,960 --> 00:17:59,200
What seems to be the issue?  Please,
please, don't do this Jeffrey.

321
00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:02,040
Please, I love you. I can change!

322
00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:08,560
I selected an IQ of 80-100
and it keeps resetting to 140 plus!

323
00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:12,800
Why would I want her to have
an IQ of 140 plus?!

324
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,200
Did you go into settings

325
00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:17,720
and try to manually reset the IQ
to "Below Average"?

326
00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:19,720
Of course I have! Repeatedly!

327
00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:21,680
And you fed all this back
to customer support?

328
00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:23,120
Yes!

329
00:18:23,120 --> 00:18:26,600
I will never forget you, Jeffrey,
you're the love of my life!

330
00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:29,680
Goodbye, Jeffrey, my love!

331
00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:34,080
Hi, I'm Melody.

332
00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:36,160
ALL:  Hello, Melody.

333
00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:38,560
MUSIC PLAYS

334
00:18:59,960 --> 00:19:01,040
Um... Sal?

335
00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:06,200
You're kidding.

336
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:11,720
What make of robot are you?
I'm a Romance Robot.

337
00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:13,640
Or Ro-Robot.

338
00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:15,880
Top of the line, baby!

339
00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:17,400
Cute photo.

340
00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:19,880
I've never been on a
roller-coaster.

341
00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:21,920
Perhaps you will go to a new person,

342
00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:23,960
who will take you
on a roller-coaster.

343
00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:26,680
Intercourse robots can't be resold.

344
00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:29,120
Then what is your destination?

345
00:19:29,120 --> 00:19:30,840
To be dismantled.

346
00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:32,880
We're all going to be dismantled.

347
00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:37,600
Michael and Sue have been misled.

348
00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:40,360
We're all being sold for our metals.

349
00:19:40,360 --> 00:19:43,520
Michael and Sue think
I am to be repurposed.

350
00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:53,800
I'd forgotten, here's the gravy.

351
00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:55,680
Ooh, wow!

352
00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:58,400
Sue, this doesn't taste like
your usual roast.

353
00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:00,840
I salted it overnight.
Do you like it?

354
00:20:00,840 --> 00:20:03,200
Yeah.

355
00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:05,360
It was Linda's idea,

356
00:20:05,360 --> 00:20:09,920
she actually had this whole French
cuisine thing planned,

357
00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:11,400
for today.

358
00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:15,160
Oh...

359
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:20,800
Are you going to get another one?
Doubt it.

360
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:24,720
Well, you could always
get a boy robot...  Ooh-hoo!

361
00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:28,200
At first, I didn't like having
a boy robot,

362
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:32,640
but now I just love
that we get to do man stuff,

363
00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:35,720
like shopping for vintage bowties,

364
00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:38,920
and we're going
to this Michael Bubbles party...

365
00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:40,240
Michael Buble concert.

366
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:43,560
Here, one of my customers said
Michael Buble wears a wig.

367
00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:46,560
I think it was Michael Buble.
Or was it Michael Douglas?

368
00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:48,560
Which one is the basketballer?

369
00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:51,560
Brian, what time are you
thinking of going home?

370
00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:54,080
I only popped in to say hi
and have a bit of a tipple.

371
00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:56,680
Four glasses of wine is a tipple?

372
00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:58,920
Well, I probably should be getting
back to work.

373
00:20:58,920 --> 00:21:01,360
Those taxis don't drive themselves,
do they?

374
00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:04,480
Well, actually they do now.

375
00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:20,320
Well, everyone. I have news.

376
00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:23,000
A little birdie tells me
that Jeffrey

377
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:26,200
and his new squeeze have split!

378
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:29,280
Oh...  He always comes home.

379
00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:33,920
You're going to take him back?
Of course I am.

380
00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:36,440
I don't want to be all alone
at my age.

381
00:21:38,760 --> 00:21:41,320
Did anyone see that
story about the MRI?

382
00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:42,480
No.  No?

383
00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:45,440
Yeah, there was an oxygen tank
in the room,

384
00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:47,560
so when they switched
the machine on,

385
00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:51,000
it went flying across the room
and decapitated the patient.

386
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:52,360
Chopped her head clean off.

387
00:21:52,360 --> 00:21:53,600
CAR DOOR
God, no.

388
00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:54,640
I didn't hear that story.

389
00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:57,000
And get this, Sue -
when they did the autopsy,

390
00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:59,520
they realised she didn't need
an MRI in the first place!

391
00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:01,720
Hello, Michael.
ALL:  Hi, Michael.

392
00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:06,400
Michael, say hi to everyone.

393
00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:09,120
Hi, everyone. Hi...

394
00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:13,000
How was your date?

395
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:14,040
Stupid.

396
00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:16,720
I'm done with women.

397
00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:18,280
They're just shallow.

398
00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:22,040
Being beautiful means nothing,
if your personality is ugly!

399
00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:26,720
You guys are lucky that you're gay.

400
00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:29,960
Eh?

401
00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:33,280
Did you manage to
get my reflux meds?

402
00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:35,000
I'll do it tomorrow.

403
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:37,000
Tomorrow is Sunday.

404
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:39,280
Then I'll do it on Monday.

405
00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:46,120
This chicken tastes weird!

406
00:22:46,120 --> 00:22:48,280
I salted it overnight.

407
00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:49,840
I prefer it the old way.

408
00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:52,760
I thought it was rather nice.
Nah, the old way is better.

409
00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:56,200
No.

410
00:22:57,560 --> 00:22:58,840
No, it's not.

411
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:10,200
Sue must know she has been misled.

412
00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:14,000
Shit!

413
00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:15,960
Not again!

414
00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:17,240
Stop!

415
00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:21,200
Stop! Stop!

416
00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:24,600
I command you...
I command you to stop!

417
00:23:26,360 --> 00:23:29,080
HEAVY ENGINE NOISE

418
00:23:31,560 --> 00:23:33,520
Will you please stop zig-zagging?

419
00:23:38,560 --> 00:23:40,160
SUE SIGHS

420
00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:43,600
Happy anniversary, love.

421
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:06,160
RECORDING:  Hello, love, it's me,

422
00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:08,640
your...dead husband, Dave.

423
00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:11,840
Linda has my voice in her database,

424
00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:15,840
so she can use it to say
"happy 50th anniversary" from me.

425
00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:19,720
I wish I were there to celebrate,
but I'm not

426
00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:21,680
because...I'm dead.

427
00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:24,920
I don't know where I am now,

428
00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:28,640
as there's no verifiable data
on that.

429
00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:31,080
But there are things I do know.

430
00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:34,520
I know that you love me very much,

431
00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:36,920
I know you still do,

432
00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:39,000
and I know how brave you are,

433
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:42,240
doing this part without me.

434
00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:44,320
MICHAEL:  Come down.
They'll be here in a minute.

435
00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:46,080
Coming, Michael.

436
00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:48,040
I have to go now, Sue.

437
00:24:48,040 --> 00:24:53,680
I picked up more reflux medication,
it is in the bathroom, goodbye!

438
00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:17,040
I am sorry I broke your fence.

439
00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:18,800
I would like to come with you.

440
00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:30,320
Come back, please!

441
00:25:32,120 --> 00:25:33,720
Shit!

442
00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:35,520
Robot wankers!

443
00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:38,800
I'm going out.

444
00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:41,040
Where?  I'm going to find Linda.

445
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:44,160
Good on you, Sue! This is exciting.
Isn't this exciting, Guy?

446
00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:45,360
Yes.

447
00:25:45,360 --> 00:25:46,400
Mum, Mum, wait...

448
00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:49,960
Get us a Happy Meal while you're
out? This chicken is disgusting!

449
00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:51,840
Mum, you don't even drive!

450
00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:54,640
I'll drive you! 75 quid.

451
00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:56,400
Wait... 85.

452
00:25:56,400 --> 00:25:58,960
Shut up! Shut up!
Mum, we've talked about this.

453
00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:02,840
I can't afford her.  I'll borrow
against the house or something.

454
00:26:02,840 --> 00:26:04,520
Are you for fucking real?

455
00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:07,480
I just hope I can get there
before her memory's wiped!

456
00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:09,480
90 quid, final offer.

457
00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:21,640
I can do this, I can do this,
I can do this.

458
00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:23,560
ENGINE STARTS

459
00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:26,080
There's nothing to be scared of,

460
00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:27,840
there's nothing to be scared of.

461
00:26:32,360 --> 00:26:34,880
HORN BEEPS
Sorry, sorry, sorry!

462
00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:37,320
SHE MUTTERS TO HERSELF

463
00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:44,480
BUMP

464
00:26:44,480 --> 00:26:46,440
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

465
00:26:48,560 --> 00:26:50,640
BUMP
Argh!

466
00:26:52,520 --> 00:26:54,480
Let me out, let me out.

467
00:26:57,000 --> 00:26:59,600
Linda!  I am OK, Sue!

468
00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:03,280
SUE WHIMPERS

469
00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:09,920
Sue, you drove a car!  Mm.

470
00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:14,720
Oh...
Perhaps you should not drive a car.

471
00:27:14,720 --> 00:27:18,280
Wh-What are you doing here?
And who is that?

472
00:27:18,280 --> 00:27:19,720
I came to find you, Sue.

473
00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:22,600
I was to be dismantled
and sold for my parts.

474
00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:24,240
You and Michael were misled.

475
00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:25,800
Bastards!

476
00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:28,280
Did you hear that, Michael?  What?!

477
00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:33,400
These contracts!
The fine print, big tech...

478
00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:34,800
Capitalism!

479
00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:38,080
Who the hell is that?

480
00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:47,040
Thank God! Finally!

481
00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:49,040
I thought I'd been left
here to die...

482
00:27:50,360 --> 00:27:52,000
But now you're here.

483
00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:54,560
I am!

484
00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:56,480
Sue, you drove a car.

485
00:27:56,480 --> 00:27:58,040
Yes, I did.

486
00:27:58,040 --> 00:27:59,880
I came to get you.

487
00:27:59,880 --> 00:28:03,600
I know Michael said
we couldn't afford a robot...

488
00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:05,480
Michael will change his mind.

489
00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:09,800
Oh, you're so funny! You should have
your own Netflix special!

490
00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:12,040
THEY CHUCKLE

491
00:28:13,120 --> 00:28:16,960
Sue, I broke my present
when you drove over me.

492
00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:21,200
Oh... Well, we can get
more picture frames.

493
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:23,240
We're gonna need them,

494
00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:26,600
because we're gonna
take a lot more pictures...

495
00:28:27,800 --> 00:28:29,120
Do you know?

496
00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:33,800
My dinner party was no fun
without you.

497
00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:36,080
Perhaps music might help
improve the mood?

498
00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:37,760

for Cotton-Eye Joe

499
00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:39,800


500
00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:41,680

where did you go

501
00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:43,880

Cotton-Eye Joe?

502
00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:47,760
Sue, I think you put my eyeball
back in upside down.

503
00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:52,440

for Cotton-Eye Joe

504
00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:54,040


505
00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:56,200

where did you go

506
00:28:56,200 --> 00:28:58,280

Cotton-Eye Joe?

507
00:28:58,280 --> 00:29:00,080

for Cotton-Eye Joe

508
00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:01,560


509
00:29:01,560 --> 00:29:03,640

where did you go

510
00:29:03,640 --> 00:29:05,840

Cotton-Eye Joe?

511
00:29:05,890 --> 00:29:10,440
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